First I want to thank God for letting me share with you another day. I pray that his words come out of me and not my own. Increase in me and I decrease. I am grateful and humble to have you in my life and just for saving me.
So a couple weeks ago I was watching injured Vets on TV and how they were dealing with depression. It got me thinking about the time I was depressed and I no longer wanted to be here. Most people who have read my post before know that I had an abortion and from that a deep depression took over my mind. The crazy thing is when I went into the doctors office the psychologist told me that one of the side effects could be depression and I wipe the thought right out of my mind. I have known to many females that have had abortions and it seemed nothing happen to them so I would be good. Now I know, through my experience, that those young ladies were wearing a mask that said everything was alright but deep inside there was a war going on.
When I walked out the doctors office, the lost of my child engulfed me and depression instantly consumed me as soon as I got in the car. There were days when I didn't want to get out of bed. I would cry myself to sleep. Didn't want to be around children. I would walk around with a smile but dying inside. I wanted to take some pills and end it all. I heard the voices tell me I was not worthy, I didn't deserve to be here, I had disappointed God, no one will ever love me, and I even had someone call me a murderer. Now that I have healed and grown from this experience I know that our thoughts can be our worse enemy. See I took my eyes off God and was disobedient and from that consequences came. In 2 Corinthians 10: 3-6 it states,
4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Being out of his presence I didn't know I could cast down my thoughts and imaginations and trust God for forgiveness and complete healing.. I won't dare blame my ordeal on the devil either cause he has no power in my life and I had a choice. (Let me interject and say this, people stop blaming everything that happen to you on devil. Jesus got up with all the victory. We have won already now its time to live like it. Keep your attention on God, be bold and the weak devil will flee. Now back to our regular broadcast.)
I am sure there have been times when God tried to stop you and warn you to stop doing certain things so the consequences wouldn't have to happen. Romans 1: 28-31 states,
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
You see there our consequences when we take our attention away from God. Well I know for sure depression is one of them.
Now you maybe experiencing depression from other traumas in your life. You may feel you not worthy love due to a horrible childhood. It could be from abuse, lost of a friend or love one, insecurities, heck watching to much negative TV can bring it on. What ever the cause is I am hear to let you know that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to be trapped in the cycle of feeling down and out. God will heal you completely. I took the best medication for my depression and I saw the best therapist to get over the hurt, JESUS. The one who had died and got up for me. The one who had already nailed my depression to the cross and was just waiting on me to open my eyes and see him. He was longing for me to invite him into my thoughts and heart.
One day in church God spoke to me a said I forgive you. He said you are more than a conqueror and you have to forgive yourself. Then he whispered I love you in my ear. From hearing his voice the pain started to evaporate. I started to look up to him and seen him in me. I knew without a doubt that I was made in his image. He molded my broken heart until I could no longer feel a crack.
Now if you are thinking this will not happen for you, I will beg you to give Jesus a try. I seen the commercials and heard the doctors say you need this blue pill to feel better. I have even heard that you have to take medicine for the rest of your life to deal with depression. I am hear to tell you I never took a single pill. I just fell into his arm and rested until the healing process was over. If you don't know how to do that its simple. If you don't know him just acknowledge him and believe in your heart that he died for you. From there talk to him and ask him to come into your life and take control. Proverbs 3: 5-6 states,
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
If you know him but still struggling its time for you to put down the things that have taken your attention away from God and spend some intimate time with him. Cry out and thank him in advance for your healing because it is already done. I only share this story because there is someone out here really struggling with this. If you can imagine living in torment everyday that is how depression feel. A constant sadness with no escape. But don't be fool there is a way out and it really is simple. Just trust him and you are healed. DEPRESSION, NO MORE.
Love you,
FREEDOM
