TEO 5: My Apology to Men

As God continues to reveal himself to me, I see my flaws clearer and working to become a better woman for him. He is truly molding me into his image. With each step on this journey, staying focus on God, I recognize what is important in life.

Previously being so self-centered with dealing with men, I never loved them like they deserved. Heck I didn't even love myself. In relationships I would throw in the towel when things didn't go my way; I didn't see myself as a Godly woman and put everything ahead of God. Not knowing my worth allowed me to become a distraction to men and my foolish ways blocked them from seeing God. It permitted me to be blind to things I deserved as well. Instead of being a positive influence and pointing men to God no matter the circumstances, I wanted my needs met and wanted them to fill a void they could never fill. Rather presenting you a woman that is a jewel I gave you a stone that could be played with and throw to the side when you were done. I can honestly say I am grateful that God didn't answer my prayer to get married because it's evident I wasn't ready and I'm sure would've been divorced by now.

So today I want to apologize to you, men. Not only for my actions but on behalf of other women who are blind to their value. I pray that your experience with us wasn't too bad. We are still a work in progress and I ask that you don't give up on us.

Truly thanking God for a reality check. I thank you, men, for the experience because it allowed me to seek God's face and be the woman that is strong enough to stop blaming others for previous pain. I know now I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I ask that you pray for me to continue to grow spiritually and I am praying the same thing for you. Have an awesome and blessed day.

Love & Peace

Crystal Freedom Baskin

8 Steps to a Simple Life with God

Introduction

I made the comment the week, "the closer I get to God I realize how life is so simple." I was shocked at the response of disagreement. This prompt me to pray and discuss with God why this was so. I was also sadden by so many lives are filled with stress when God never intended for us to live this way. I felt compelled to write the journey I took to get to this simple life. Review each step and give it a try for just 30 days and maybe your life will become simple.

1. Develop a relationship with God
   

   When I first got saved I felt there was no major change in my life. After a while I noticed I was missing something major. I heard a lot of people say they had an intimate relationship with God but I didn't know what that meant. I started praying that God would show me what an intimate relationship with him would look like. This was the ultimate goal that I wanted to accomplish. I will never forget being at a women conference at my church and God through the guest speaker answered to my prayers. We were taught us to think of building a relationship with God the same way we would build a relationship with a mate. Create a date night where the focus was on him. Dress up, cook dinner, dance and worship, and share conversation with God. I did just that and the experience was like none other. I made sure all distractions were gone. I grew closer to the God and for the first time in my life felt peace in his presence. Now I can be honest and say I didn't maintain my date nights like I should have and the peace disappeared. Now looking back I realized my focus went away from God and back on me. Where does your focus lie?
   

   
    

2. Study the steps of Jesus from the Garden (Gethsemane) to the Cross to Resurrection
   

   In order to understand God completely you must understand the ultimate sacrifice he made for us. Yes he sacrificed his only begotten son but it is deeper than that. During bible study it took over two years to study Jesus steps from the Garden to Resurrection. To understand that even Jesus came to God and asked him to take the cup away but not his will but God's will showed me just how human Jesus was. Do you know he went through court trials, was totally innocent and was found guilty? You need to understand every detail of the beating he took as you. The pain he endured was so severe that no movie can scratch the surface. Get a clear understanding what the body goes through while being crucified so you can comprehend God's love for you. Realize that Jesus went to hell for us and got up with all power is so important because he left us with the power. I suggest you set up a time for personal bible study on this topic and get to work.
   

   
    

3. God loves you but do you know?
   

   As time progressed I found that I was surrounded by people that had a revelation of God's love. I had heard about this unconditional love but couldn't say I felt it. So I asked God to show me his love. One day while meditating on a beach I opened my heart to God expressing honest feeling and sitting in silence waiting for his to speak. With all I had I focused on him. Suddenly I heard God's voice whisper to me I love you. I wept like no one had ever told me they loved me before. God engulfed my spirit and I felt his love. I knew what unconditional love truly meant and I was floating on top of the world. I left there sharing with everybody about his love. Ask yourself do you know how much God loves you?
   

   
    

4. Pursuit for God's purpose for your life
   

   One day in church my Pastor mentioned that our ultimate goal should be doing God's will. He suggested we ask God what he wants from us rather than always asking for stuff as if God is to serve us or grant wishes. Every day I woke up asking God how I can serve him today. This started the pursuit for God's will for my life. I prayed he would show me how he wanted me to be utilized for his glory. The more intense my search the more my focus was on God. Worry and stress disappeared and the only things that mattered were God. Are you chasing after your own desire or are you chasing after God's will?
   

   
    

5. Renew your mind daily with the word
   

   Read/Listen to the word throughout the day. Bible Gateway is a perfect site to allow you to do this. The more I allow my spirit to absorb the word of God avoiding sin become easy. I am shown the areas that I need to work on and how to improve my life so I am truly a living sacrifice. When was the last time you spent an hour reading/listen to the bible?
   

   
    

6. Trust God 100% in all areas of life
   

   Planning my life was a must for me. Having been independent for so long it was hard to trust God in all areas of my life. For example I thought I was going to leave my job. I was told I was being laid off soon so I put my plan together and started looking for a different position. Every position I applied for was perfect for me. Everything I ever wanted in a job. Went on interviews and every person I met said they loved me. After every interview I felt compel to ask God for his will to be done because he knew what was best for me. One by one the doors to the new jobs closed. So I decided to get rid of my plan and trust God decision. God moved so big that a job was created for me at the very company that was supposed to lay me off doing what I love, writing. Now I trust God with everything I do. I ask him to keep my eyes open and acknowledge his presence no matter where I am or what I am doing. Ask God to show you what area in your life you lack trust in him?
   

   
    

7. Abide in Me
   

   God called me to a liquid fast for 31 days. During this time I asked God to heal me of baggage and reveal flaws I needed to work on. God allowed me to spend all day with my thoughts on him. I truly understood the scripture that state praying without ceasing. I listened to only encouraging music. At 5am every morning I woke up acknowledging him and sat in his presence. I talked to him every chance I got because he was my best friend. I asked him for help with every area of my life. Celibacy became easy because I was doing it with the right intention. I belong to God and everything I have belonged to him. How could I not obey him and revere him. In the midst of us growing a closer relationship I became whole and truly content with life. After my fast was complete I have continued everything above and life is so peaceful. Who are you abiding in?
   

   
    

8. Fall in love with God
   

   All the previous steps have allowed me to come to understand the true meaning of falling in love. I had a distorted view of the definition of love from the world. Now I can say I am in love with Jesus. Not because he provides for me, is patient, kind, surprises me with gifts and love me just as I am but because he loved me first. With this truth I have to give him my best. I want to share his love with others. Paul said he was content in every situation and when you experience a love like this you see nothing else matters. The devil becomes insignificant because you know has your back. You find blessings in trials and tribulations. You start having compassion for others. You see the world as God sees it and you can't help but want to increase his Kingdom. So I ask you are you in love with God?
   

   
    

If you feel life is not simple ask God to show you were you are off track. The 8 steps is the journey I took to get to the point of a simple life with God. Your journey may be different. One thing for sure, when you stay focus on God completely life is truly simple. Give him a try today.

 

TEO 4 - No Power Without God

I repented today.  Jesus died for me but I thought that I can accomplish something without him.  Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t being blatantly disrespectful but had fallen for the plow that my thoughts had power.  I started focusing thoughts on my wants only allowing positive thought in.  There is nothing wrong with this but I eliminated God from this process, telling him I have the power.  I can’t lie to you and say that it didn’t work temporarily but after while my thoughts were sad, full of insecurities and stress.  Then in church my Pastor brought up the topic of thoughts having no power and all power belongs to Jesus.  The crazy thing was I had been looking for evidence that the bible, prior to this, stating the so popular saying, “as a man think so is he”, and found a scripture taken out of content.   My pride convinced me I wasn’t looking hard enough.  This belief I have adopted for years couldn’t be wrong.  Now here I sat my Pastor or should I say God is shattering my belief.   Still I left church rebellious and still thinking this can’t be true.  That following week I prayed for God to increase in my life.  Welling asking God for this comes with a cost.  The price is to die to self and take up your cross.  Well God is killing my flesh in more ways than one.  By Friday he sent two more confirmations that my belief was false.  I stopped right then and repented.  I knew deep inside he had all power but my actions and beliefs were demonstrating something different.  I apologize to all I led astray with this belief.  All power comes from Jesus.  From this day forward I am abiding in him.

John 15:5 (NIV)

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

TEO 3 - Love Can Hurt

Do you believe that if someone truly loves you they wouldn’t hurt you?  They would never hurt you intentionally.  I received a revelation from God that this is not true.  Someone can truly hurt you and love you.  When a person thoughts or attention are not on you it’s easy to become selfish and hurt you.  Think of a person who cheats on their mate.  They may truly love their mate but their attention starts to slip away.  They are focused on something that feeds their desires.  The distraction could be another person, work, partying, or even hobbies.  Due to hurt I know some won’t agree so let use ourselves as an example.  Have you stated that you love God but have been unfaithful to him?  You were going to give him your all but have fallen short?  Does that mean you love God less or is an expression that something else has your attention?  Are you focusing on self?  If this is true for you why can’t it be true for the person who may have hurt you?  We are all human and make mistakes.  Forgive, let go of the baggage and move forward on your journey.  This is to remind you to love like God.  Keep your eyes on the prize, God, and he will show true love and how to love others.

Freedom's TEO 2

Stop expecting perfection and understanding of your trials from family and friends.  When you are going through things you should run to God.  Talk to him about the trial and let him work.   People are not perfect no matter who they are.  People may let you down and that is okay because we are all a work in progress.  That doesn’t say anything less about the person or their relationship with you.  It means you need to pray for yourself because if you can get easily offended mean you are not as close to God as you think.  It may also mean there is a deep rooted seed inside that you need to work on.  Let the person off the hook from your victim mentality and run to the perfect friend in your life, GOD.

Psalm 18:30 (NLT)

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

Freedom's TEO 1

So I am trying something new called Transparency Encourage Others (TEO). I will give you little notes (no more than 200 words) on life challenges but expressed to keep you encouraged and focused God.  This is TEO 1.  Enjoy and please share with others.  Love you guys
Crystal ‘FREEDOM’ Baskin

Sometime I wish God made me like people who, as soon as they get hurt, as soon as they are wronged, as soon as they are lied to and lied on, as soon as they are cheated on, as soon as they are pushed to the edge, JUST GO OFF.  Let you know the pain you cause.  Let my anger be expressed by busting your windows out, flattening your tires, scream to the world how you are no good and a selfish bastard, tell everyone you know you are full of crap and even get angry enough to appear on SNAPPED…….I stop and BREATH.  Get on my knees.  Think about JESUS on the cross for YOU and me.  I let the tears flow from the pain and I pray.  I pray that God give you nothing but blessings in your life.  That he continue to use you for his glory.  That you be shaped into the perfect image of him.  I pray that he take away any ill feeling I have about you.  That he teach me how to forgive more and more.  That his love for you will be instilled in me and shown by me no matter what. 

Luke 6:28

²⁸ bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you

My Idol was The Idea of Being In Love

Jonah 2:8 (NIV) - Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.

For a long time I thought that men were taking the place of God.  I mean I was giving men all that belonged to God.  But I have come to realize that it was not the men who became my idol but the idea of being in love.  Let me break it down this way.  During my life I seen the love my parents shared (50 years of love might I add) and when you get older you realize that with real unselfish relationships there are good days and bad days but through it all you stay.  It’s not about perfection, but about give and take and truly serving the other person.  I knew deep down inside that the fairytale love didn’t exist.  But somewhere down the line I lost sight of this.  Watching TV and listening to music altered my view.  I guess the seed was planted in my youth.  Truly think back to childhood cartoons from Disney showed me Mickey and Minnie mouse had the perfect love.  When I became a little older there were shows like, Save By The Bell, which portrayed the relationships that you dreamed of.  After graduating from high school every movie geared towards women had a romantic relationship with the perfect ending.  The man always managed to sweep the good girl off her feet.  And even when it seemed that the relationship wasn’t going to work out the friends and family would come to the rescue and manage to bring the confused couple together.  So being a person who loves love this type of things attracted me and took root in my flesh.  My heart fell right into imagination and put reality in the background. 

Experiences have showed me chasing the idea of falling in love I have been hurt over and over again.  Why wasn’t my prince charming acting liked the men I seen on TV.  Why wasn’t he coming to take away the heartbreaks and shout to the world just how much he loved me?  Why wasn’t he ready to stand in front of God and profess his love for me?  Well one reason is because the fairytale don’t exist.  Second thing is there is only one perfect love and that comes from God.  The third reason is no one is perfect and that includes the man that is meant for me.  God gives us instructions on how to love, such as:

Galatians 5:13(NIV) - ¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

Now I can say experiencing the pain actually was a benefit because it pushed me closer to God.  It also allowed me to see my flaws and areas I need to work on.  Also I know the pain I have been through will help the next person look for reality instead of the romantic comedy and fairytale that we have seen all our lives.

So in conclusion, let me first say to ever man that have hurt me let me apologize to you for hold you to standard that doesn’t exist.  You didn’t even realize that perfection was mandatory.  I know now God is the only one who can love me perfectly.  Next, to Crystal ‘FREEDOM’ Baskin of the past, I apologize that I took you through the confusion and not letting you look at things in the true perspective.  I am back on track and trusting reality.  I am taking time out to allow you to heal from the lies I instilled inside.  Me, myself and I will walk in reality from this day forward.  Last but definitely not least God forgive me for not allowing me to let you guide me 100%.  I know I am growing for your purpose so I thank you right now for being the potter and shaping me into your image.  This life is all about you so please let this lesson sink in for the remaining days of my life.

Psalms 130:4 (NIV) - But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

God Uses Trials for His Purpose

I am sure you have heard that everything that happened to you in your life has already been planned.  If you haven’t now you know.  But with that being said we have a choice how to react to our experiences.  Your life is for God’s purpose rather you believe in him or not.  Even when you are not thinking about him God still loves you and doing things for you, yep that’s the God I serve.  So yesterday God reveal that he is giving me the desire of my heart.  Let me warn you; watch what you ask for because God will deliver.  I asked him to use me, to show me my purpose, and what does he want from me?  As soon as I made this my goal and started pulling closer to him, my world was turned upside down.  There were/are trials in every area of my life.  I felt Grief, heartache, career confusion, family issues, and issues with my body which made it hard to even look in the mirror. 

Well God showed me how he was preparing me for what I asked for.  In order for me to be used by him I have to go through some things to make me spiritually strong.  How can I help people if I haven’t experienced what they experienced? He allowed me to experienced anger, thoughts of giving up and frustration.  One day I was even ready to give up on love, yes the hopeless romantic love-a-holic told love goodbye.  That day I wrote this poem:

I’m Gone

I know I have told you this a thousand times

But this here is my final goodbye

I’m Gone

You took for granted, every part of me

Tired of crying and begging you to appreciate me

I’m Gone

I wish you nothing but the best

Because your actions showed I was second to the rest

I’m Gone

My heart has turned completely callous

Never thought I would hate you with so much passion

I’m Gone

The hopeless romantic has dematerialized

Exhausted for giving you a try

I’m Gone

My friends tell me your representatives just wasn’t the one

But I’ve Run this race to long, I’m overdone

I’m Gone

Starting over is so hard to do

Letting you in, believing your words were true…man

I’m Gone

I thought just because you knew God you would treat me better

But instead you threw me out in zero degree weather

I’m Gone

Behind this mask of happiness is hurt and tears

People are blind to the ocean that formed over these years

I’m Gone

So many pieces of me have died

That’s when I look at my reflection I’ve come to realize

Damn, I’m Gone

I never thought I would say this to you

But I am finally weak enough to say we are through

Love, I’m Gone

I swear the very next day God removed these feeling and opened my eyes to his truth.  He is getting rid of some distractions, closing the door on unhealthy situations and at the same time increasing my territory through the tears and pain.   Yes, he was building my spiritual muscles. 

In the midst of this he had my sister give me Purpose Driven Life without her knowing what I was fully going through.  God revealed in the book one way to discover your purpose was to just look at your God given talent that you were born with.  This made me think back to a few days earlier when a few of my friends came to work with pictures of when they were toddlers doing the very thing they enjoy doing today.  One of my friends was in front of a computer at 2 years old concentrating hard, just like she does today.  My other friend had a picture of her riding a pony, now she has a horse and rides him at events on the weekend.  So it got me thinking about my talents.  I asked my mommy and sister, since they have known me my whole life ha-ha, what were talents did they see in me since my toddler day's and the first thing out of both their mouths was writing (you think lol).  God also showed me how all my other talents will assist me with my purpose, so he can get all the glory.  I think I found my purpose, what do you think?

I see that every tear, pain, victory and joy was for someone else.  It was for God to be seen in me.  God is showing me through it all just how much he loves me.  He is preparing me to truly live for him.  It makes me think back when I was first saved almost 12 years ago.  God told me saints would send me all over the world and to get my passport.  At the time being a baby in Christ I thought it was joke.  I even thought that the prophetess didn’t know what she was talking about.  But now I see that everything from that day until now was in divine order.  To realize God loves me so much brings me to tears.  All I can say is thank you ABBA.  Even though the events that happen so far 2012 has been confusing and uncomfortable at times I am ecstatic that I gained so much, God blessed me with gift of being used by him.

Tearing Up The List

I wrote this last year but the crazy thing is I forgot my own message and created a list again.  I will advise you when God give you a revelation, write it down and review it often, so you wont have to learn the same lesson over and over again.  Enjoy (I tore up my list again haha)

Tearing Up My List

Crystal 'FREEDOM' Baskin

10-31-11

            Well here I go again.  Let me first say I love when my heavenly father gives me a revelation and allow me to write again.  This is all coming from him, he gets all the praise.  I am just a vessel that don't deserve his love but so very grateful for the cross.  Now let’s get down to business.  So a couple of weeks ago I was in service and God asked me do I really trust him.  I mean really trust him in all areas of my life.  Of course I said yes because in my mind I couldn't see where I didn't trust God.  God took me through a stripping a few years ago and it made me realize that in certain area I was in control.  I had never given God a chance to take the lead.  But today I am so grateful for him taking away thing I thought made me who I was.  I took my hands off and allowed him to move.   

            So God showed me that I wasn’t trusting in him with my love life.  I told him that I always asked him to send me the man he has for me.  Then he said so why do I have the list.  Now come on people I know you know about the list.  We create the good old list that describes your perfect mate.  You may have spiritual, looks, attitude, finances, and family description.  So I describe the man I felt was perfect for me.  I mean this man was everything I would ever want.  I actually kept the list in my purse to remind me exactly what I felt was perfect for me

            Then God asked me who knows what’s best for you.  Now this really got me thinking.  I mean if I was such a good choice with men then some of the past hurts wouldn't exist.  Then I started to realize if God made me, knew me before the womb, knew what I was going to say before I said it and sitting with me right now as I type this, I think he knows me better.  Every day I am discovering something new about myself, God is saying let me show her a little more.  So how dare I think I should tell God what man is best for me.

            I know my friends and me who have had the list always say I will not settle and this list will show exactly what I want.  God told me, Crystal when you know your worth and truly love yourself you won’t need a list to stop you from settling, you will be so focused on me and my light shining through you will stop certain guys from even approaching me.  He will be the keeper of my heart and a man will have to come to him to get it.

            Then he showed me how I was putting limits and boundaries on him.  Now he could give me what I asked for but I might not get the full blessing he has for me.  The man he has for me might not fit into the mold I designed.  Which got me thinking, I have friends that tell me that they got the man they asked for and a little more.  Which lead me to believe God was still at work even with a list and when we don't fully trust him (what an awesome God we serve). 

            So with all that being said I decided to fully trust God.  Let him work while I build a deeper relationship with him.  I can even trust that even if he never sends me a man then I trust it was his will and he has a bigger purpose for me.  God didn't need my help creating me so I am sure he doesn’t need my help in creating me a man.  Forgive me God for not submitting completely.  I am tearing up my list and trusting you only.

Free From Bondage

I have been longing to write but for some reason just couldn't.  Then I started to be pulled to my notes on Facebook and God told me to share this message I wrote last year.  Hope this message truly bless you.

Written By: Crystal 'FREEDOM' Baskin
9-30-11

I had a vision of myself duplicated 21 times in a single file line. 10 are shackled at the feet. When I look at the front of the line there is another me that has been released from the shackles and running towards freedom. There are an additional 9 empty shackles on the ground but no one in sight.   When I look at the back of the line I see 10 more versions on of me but are shackled at the hand and feet. Not looking up, scared, and timid. Then I realize this is how I am dealing with bondage in areas of your life.

For example, when I had an abortion years ago the pain struck instantly. I went into a deep depression and wore a happy mask while dying inside. I would drive by the clinic I had the procedure and just cry. If I shared my testimony with anyone the pain would automatically rise up. It seemed I couldn't let it go. Then one day while in service God spoke to me and said “I have already forgiven you why can't you forgive yourself.” That was the start of my release program. I tell you that the emotions and depression went away that day (not our definition of day – but in God's time). I was fighting with the shackles I had put on myself. But during the struggle God became my strength. He allowed me to see that I had the key all along. Before I knew it I didn't cry when I drove by the clinic. I was no longer mad at the protesters outside. I remember having a conversation about the abortion and stop in the middle of the story to give him praise because had been freed from the shackles. There was no trace of pain at all. This is a representation of the shackles left on the ground but no image of me in sight. The bondage had disappeared.

The image of me being released and running toward freedom is God working on my finances. I got a surprise today that I will be financial free in a month, owing no one but God my praise. I can't wait to say I have a positive net worth. Please understand that this is not to brag about money, it's to show God that I am walking the way he want me to in this area of my life. How can I truly be a financial blessing to his Kingdom robbing Peter to pay Paul?  I know most of you have heard the popular scripture Proverb 22:7 (The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is the servant over the lender) but my purpose is found in 2 Corinthians 9:6-14 (with the key verse being 7: Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver – Homework read Chapter 9). I have always dreamed of being able to pull up to a bus stop in the middle of winter and see a young single mother waiting for a bus and just give her the car keys. Can you imagine the glory God will get that day?  Just being able to truly love a total stranger. Also I know God has provided everything I need already and true wealth is in God not money anyway. It's time for God's children to be smarter financially and stop living above our means. If I can't pay it off that day I am not buying it. Thank you Jesus for opening the doors to teach me financial literacy. It will not stop with me either, I will teach others around me so they won't have to be in bondage.

Now the 10 versions of me that are shackled at the feet only are the issues that I am processing the release forms for. I know what those issues are and allowing God to be my lawyer. I have some minor mistakes (backsliding but not staying down) with the paper work that need to be addressed but I am determined to win no matter what. The funny thing is God showed me last night that he has cured me from backsliding (Jeremiah 3) so I am calling all my friends and family to tell you to get ready for a welcome home party. I have officially got the word that I am being freed soon (fighting flesh) but I don't have the release date (but I know victory was won when he got up).

The remaining last 10 images of me that are shackled at the hands and feet are the deep rooted seeds that I know are there but haven't discovered there true identity. The issues I hid in the back of the closet praying that God never reveals to others. If you don't know about these types of issue you are truly bless and I thank God that you never will. But for me I have not always been saved. I did things that I know I didn't care about. I have hurt people intentionally. I have had pride issues and felt I deserved so much. Yeah I was out of my mind, like I got on the cross and died for people. So those issues are hiding in a fetal position afraid to even fight. Afraid to look up at God because of the shame. The enemy is still whispering in their ears telling them they are not worthy of freedom. But what the enemy don't know that this group has a larger defense team behind them. Every one of my previous clones are ahead of them are yelling back don't give. Time to fight. We have the victory. You can do it. They are throwing shovels and saying, dig deep and pull the shackles out the ground. Even though I am humbled like a child with these issues I hear the voices loud and clear. I am getting stronger because I feel God's presence even if I have blinded my eyes. And deep down inside I know the truth. I am made in his image and in time I will be totally FREE FROM BONDAGE.

Lesson Learned: God's Challenge For The Month of May

So for the month of May I felt God lead me to show his love to a total stranger.  The assignment was to bless a total stranger every day in multiple ways.  He allowed me to share this challenge with all of you and at the end of the month we would share our experiences.  Now going into this challenge I was expecting so many people life being changed.  I was going to be used by God in different ways and people would be reminded of his love.  What I didn’t expect was I learned the biggest lesson about myself.  I realized how much time I spent thinking about me.  How everything I did in my life was for me to get some praise rather than God.  I discovered I was not living the purpose God created me for.  Yes I was living a selfish, prideful and self-centered life. 

So God revealed that the problem was that I had not surrendered my all to him.  How many people can relate to that?  We tell God I will give you this much of my life but I got this area over here.  Well the area I had my hands on was not peaceful.  There was confusion, hurt, and no rest.  I vowed to God that I would surrender everything in my life and my life to him.  I only want what God wants.  I even start disliking the words I and me.  I want to give to others from the heart and anonymous because I want people to see God only.  I truly understand what people mean when they say I just want to please him and hear job well done. 

In this process I met some wonderful people.   I gained new friendships, which one I would have never seen formed but God.  I am boldly stepping out on faith and when he tells me to move I am obedient.  Nothing matters more than God’s purpose. 

I also became conscious again.  It’s easy to fall asleep to the world when you take your eyes off God and focus on yourself.  We complain about so many things that are frivolous.  There are people around the world that are thanking God for the piece of bread they have last all week, praying for clean water and dreaming about one day coming to the United States.  Please remember there is someone who wishes they had your problems.  My heart longs to pray for people who need God or have lost their way.  I was created to be used by him.  My prayer every morning is for the Lord to use me for your purpose and open my eyes and ears so I know exactly where you need me.

There has also been a tug on my spirit to go on a mission trip.  God has given me gifts to use for his will and for so long I have allowed them to go to waste.  Are you taking advantage of your gift today by hiding it within?  God wants to use you the question is, are you willing to put down your will and follow him? 

If you didn’t participate in the May challenge it’s not too late.  You don’t need a particular month to express God’s love.  Start today.  Pay for somebody grocery, pray for a stranger that you see struggling, donate some clothes, or simply speak and smile at someone.  You never know how these simple things can change a person life.  If you are asked why you are doing what you are doing just state because God loves you more than you know. 

Love You Guys

Crystal ‘FREEDOM’ Baskin

Intimate Relationship with God

Have you asked yourself how do I build an intimate relationship with God?  Well I pray this will insist you in doing just that.  So many times in the past I would wonder what people meant when they said they had an intimate relationship with God.  I would pray to God and ask Lord how this was even possible.  The whole concept was foreign and confusing to me.  Not that I haven’t experienced intimate relationship before this but those relationship was so full of pride on my end that I couldn’t draw a parallel to that same type of relationship with God but I was seeking a deeper experience with God.  Longing for what all these people had experienced and wanting to clearly hear his voice, I went on a search.  I decided to look up the definition of the words relationship and intimate and it states:

Relationship: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Intimate: Closely acquainted; familiar

So after reviewing these definitions I started thinking what came with being in a relationship.  Then I started thinking about when being in intimate relationships there is fellowship.  I thought what step do you take to truly fall in love with a person?  Then I was blessed with an answer at a woman’s conference at my church.  The woman of God that was speaking that night topic was, Relationship with God.  She described how she set-up a date night with God weekly.  She shared with us how when we are dating someone we get all dressed up.  We cook meals and clean our house.  We will go all out.  She asked us why we don’t give the same effort to God.  Why don’t we spend uninterrupted time with God?  She explained how she would set-up candles like a date.  This woman would talk and reveal her feelings to God.  She even described how she would sing and dance. 

I was so ecstatic that God had finally provided me with an answer to my prayers.  Giving it a try was the best thing I had ever done.  I dressed up and cooked a meal.  Lighting candles to set the mood was a must.  I turned my phone off and shut the television off.  God and I shared a personal praise and worship time.  This time allowed me to grow spiritually.  I realized that I could really express how I felt.  I would find different ways I could truly show God how much I appreciated him.  I was able to sit in silent with him and allowed him to become my best friend.  My week was not complete without my date night. 

Now that some years have passed I have gotten away from doing my date night.  As I reflect on that time in my life I was truly seeking God not for blessing but just to show how grateful I was because I am already blessed.  Entering a new transition in my life right now I feel God is calling me to his purpose and to surrender my all to him.  With the revelation that this life is not about me how can I not give God all my time.  Just like some relationship that have been together for a while we let the spark die and take our significant other for granted.  Well it’s time to put the flame back in my relationship.  It’s time to make every day date night and give God my life. 

I will recommend that no matter where you are in your walk with God that you invest more time with him and watch you mature spiritually.  Start slow if this is a new relationship for you.  Start off by committing to a date night a week.  Let the butterflies ring in your spirit like you would with any new relationship.  Tell your family and friends about him.  When that thought of him appear smile or just when a thought cross your mind give him a call just to say hi.

If you have been in your relationship a while, it’s time out for games and time to show God that nothing else matters but him.  You heard the saying the things you do to get them is the same thing you need to do to keep.  So what was your excitement level and effort when you first got saved?  Look, he has a purpose for your life and when you take your eyes off of him you are not walking in your full potential that you were created for.  Run back to your first love and rekindle the flame.

Love you guys

Freedom

Apology - Surrender All

Today I want to take the time out to apologize to God, my family, my friends and anyone that read the Freedom Speaks Blog.  I've lead you astray.  I have been selfish and for that I pray that God and you forgive me.  You see for so long I have made this life all about me.  I would write for God but even in that I was present.  My blog had a picture of me which I feel was telling you about me and my accomplishments.  I was even telling you how God was using me.  Do you see the pattern of self-centeredness flowing.  No longer do I like the words I or me.

This past week God gave me a revelation of how I have not truly surrendered my life to him.  I mean really giving him every area of my life.  This life has been about me much too long.  I don’t want a thought, a goal, a dream, a feeling, a career, a love life, a vehicle, family, friends, or even food to eat if God is not in the midst of it all.  I am not trying to sound mean but I don’t care about anything else but God and his purpose for my life.  I am at the point in my life that where ever he leads is all that matters.  No longer will I fear letting go of control of my life.  The crazy thing is I never had control in the first place.

People, we tend to focus on such trivial things.  We go to God with requests that are so shallow.  God please don’t let this person on my job get on my nerves today, please let me get this new job or a job, God please let me get the car I want or that house I love so much, or Lord allow me to be able to pay my bills.  Do you realize there is this big world we reside in with people who wish they had your problems?  Their prayers are Lord if you can find it in your heart to just provide one more day of food for me and my family, Lord please give us clean drinking water, Lord please give me shoes for my feet and one of the biggest Lord please give me or someone in my family the opportunity to go to the United States. 

I have a friend who family is from Iraq.  He told me the story of how his grandmother actually watched her son hanged.  When he spoke it was evident that this was not out of the ordinary and we have the nerve to complain.  We are spoiled and don’t know what it means to struggle for real.  Do you realize you can freely worship God every day without harm?  There are fellow Christian brothers and sisters that are being killed every day just saying the name Jesus.  Our selfish behind will tell God I am too tired to get up in the morning to give him 5 minutes to say thank you, man our priorities are so off track.

Please don’t get me started on the excuses we use for not doing God’s work.  Too many of us can’t go anywhere if it is not a “Christian” event.  Our ears may be too sensitive to hear the words that may come from the world.  I thought as children of God we are supposed to influence the world not the other way around.  Jesus got up with all power but our weak behinds stay in the comfort of our church, our concerts, our programs and the world is going to hell faster than we can blink.  Our new walk has made us blind to how we use to be, has made us think too high of ourselves, and clearly made us forget what our purpose is.  Jesus hung out with the sinners so he could show them the proper way to go.  If all of us are hanging around are fellow Christians, who life is being affected by God living in you. 

Today is the day to surrender your all to God.  This very moment is the time you need realize that the only thing that matters is God and him getting all the praise in everything we do and say.  Every day you should remember Jesus dying on the cross for you and the resurrection.  Every moment should be a thought of how can I please you Lord.  Wake up every moment asking what he wants from you rather than requesting things.  There should be an authentic chase after his purpose.  Your heart should long for nothing else but pleasing him.  Are you going to get serious for God today?

Romans 12: 1-6 (The Message) – Meditate on this scripture.

Place Your Life Before God

^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

³I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

Victim to Your Trial - 4/11/12

There are so many times we give testimony of our trials.  We wear them like a badge of honor.  But I have seen and experienced where I have become a victim of my trial.  Let me give you an example.  As some of you may know I had an abortion years ago and it cause me a deep depression.  At first God allowed me to share to help others.  But I feel that God was trying to move me past that ordeal and instead I continue to testify about the trial.  I would tell people like I had to impress people and showed how God had used me and brought me to through the ordeal.  Now if you pay attention to my last statement please realize how many times I used me.  See I had made this trial about me and not about God.  I feel God allow us to go through things to show his power and strength.  To remind us that he has our back.  I am not saying you can’t give a testimony to help other but take it for all its worth and move forward.  God should get all the glory.  In one of my favorite songs there is a line that says, “In Christ alone I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross. In every victory let it be said of me my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone.”  

I also realized the more I focused on the trial the more my emotions remain attached to the event.  I would relive the trial over and over again.  God is trying to release us from the trial.  The more we hold on to it the more the door can’t be closed and another one open.

As time has passed I have learned that some trials are you to share with others and some are lessons for you.  I also learned that if you be silent and let God lead he will tell you what to do with the trial so you don’t have to fall victim to your trial.  If you find yourself as a victim turn your attention back to God and he will show you the way to move forward.  

Steps to Maturity - 4/11/12

Well family I have been thinking about relationships lately.  As I am maturing in my walk with Christ I have realized so much about myself dealing with past relationships.  I use to blame men for my hurt.  I have come to the conclusion that it was not the men fault.  I didn’t love myself and truly didn’t love the men in my life like they should have been loved.  There are three categories of men that I have experienced in my life.

The first men were what I called frogs.  You know the story of princess and the frog.  But this frog never turned into a prince.  At the time the frog had the right to hurt me because I allowed it.  I kissed some frogs but I realized that during this time I was a frog myself.  I also didn’t know my self-worth.  I can say now that I truly do appreciate the experience with the frogs because it makes me appreciate the great man God will send to me. 

The next set of men that I have experienced I would say is a mixed of a frog and a prince.  This is the time in my life where I was confused about what I wanted.  So I allowed a man that was confused to enter my life.  I knew I didn’t love myself and was searching for love that men could never give me.  I was happy that God showed me what real love is and allowed me to realize I needed to grow. 

The last group of men is the prince.  Now these men were awesome but was not the prince for me.  I want to say thank you for showing me what a Godly man looks like.  You showed me how I should be treated even though I was not ready for you at the time.  I always said I was ready for love but when it came God showed me I had some growing to do.  So I took the mature way out and worked on me. 

Today, I am truly ready for love because I am whole, thanks to God.  I know my worth and know God is true love.  I am ready to give love and not expect anything in return because I know that is what God intended for us all.  I know I can love a person right where they are because we are all a work in progress.  So to my Prince, I know that this is not a fairytale but real life.  I know there are up and down in relationship but I promise to work hard at our future and will not give up.  So whoever you are I am waiting with open arms and an open heart.

So if you can recognize any of these experience or categories in your life I pray God reveals truth to you.  I pray that God make you whole so you can really experience love and truly appreciate it.  Love you guys

Freedom

Universal Language

While traveling a couple weeks ago I came across the key to an easy life. I seen people of all backgrounds, all colors, different religion to express the key. The one thing that I noticed in people interaction was the universal language, LOVE. Yes I feel LOVE is the key to life. If God is love (Agape) and he instructs us to love one another as Christ loved the church or love thy neighbor as yourself, then I believe God was given us a hint to how to solve every problem we have today.

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4:7-21

With my own personal testimony, I can look back and see when I didn't know real love in my life and was on a search for it I allowed all hell to break loose and thought it was ok to experience some bad things if it meant I could have what I thought was love. When I didn't love myself thats when most of my problems existed. It's not like I didn't grow up with a loving family. My family told me everyday that they loved me and still do to this day. But it was a void I was trying to fill through men, negative attention, being a follower and not a leader, and just letting low self-esteem consume me. I was searching for the one thing that only God could give, LOVE (Agape).

I remember the day God first showed me the depths of his love for me. I was in the sanctuary in a deep depression due to an abortion. It was so bad that I had thoughts of leaving this world. The depression had me so blind that I was in the presence of God and felt nothing. I felt I was already dead. But God, let me say that again, BUT GOD. I cry every time I think about that day. He whispered, Crystal I have not left you and I have forgiven you why can't you forgive yourself. I felt that God had wrapped his arms around and engulfed me with a LOVE I had never experienced. Instantly the sadness that had taken over my life had faded away. Don't get me wrong I had my days where I had to tell myself (flesh) the depression was gone and I didn't have to live like this but when those times came I thought about God's love and helped me to get to where I am today. I will suggest that if you are experiencing sadness, confusion or depression run to God and express every feeling. His LOVE will bring you unspeakable joy.

In my opinion I feel that if we just truly fall in love with God, I mean get a true understanding of how much God loves us, it will make it easy to love others no matter where a person is in their life. You will love them right where they are and know God is working in their lives. You can pray for someone that hurt you and love on them because you know as much as you don't deserve God's love it is always there for you. I mean think of the times when you weren't even thinking about God and he got you out of a situations where you know you should have died. So today why not show everyone, yes that mean your enemies, some love today. Give them the key that God give to you, unconditionally LOVE.

Love Freedom

Why Do You Attend Church

I have been thinking a lot lately why people actually go to church. I see tons of people on Sunday morning heading to there choosen place of worship and I wondered why? Is it to get a word and encouragement for the upcoming week? Is it to see their favorite preacher? Are they attending to see friends or is it to serve God in every area of their lives?

Now what brought this thought on is because I have encountered so many people that leave there church home for some interesting reasons. Now, can you call a place your home and leave over simple things. If your toilet clog up at home you don't just pack up and leave. No you stick it out and fix the problem or call on the experts to fix it on your behalf. So why not allow God to give you patience to deal with church issues. Why not love the church body right where they are, just as Jesus did. Do you remember the fruit of the spirit, long suffering? No wonder people get a divorce quickly they don't know how to stick around over simple things, how can they maintain a marriage, but thats a topic for another day.

Here are some of the reasons I have heard personally why people left their church. “Well the church wanted to much of my time and I am not getting anything in return.” “The church is always asking me for money.” “He hurt my feelings and he is suppose to be a christian.” “I don't want to be around my ex-mate/friend.” Last but not least, “the pastor, first lady or other leaders in the church weren't there personally for me when I needed them and I give my money and time to the church.”

Now for the reasons I have received I have prayed for the individuals involved cause I know how it feels to go through each encounter but God has allowed me to see things differently and want me to share with you. You see, I don't go to church expecting perfection from people who are still a work in progress. This also includes the leaders of the house. The leaders are sheep, just as well as we are, following one shepherd (Jesus). I go to church for God, to build a deeper relationship with him, and corporate worship with my sisters and brothers. God allowed us the opportunity to base our walk on a foundation that is rooted in him rather than people in a church building (also remember the church is in you please). So stop judging your fellow christians please. Instead pray that God move in you and show you your flaws so you can work on the person in the mirror and love everyone in the body of Christ, no matter where they are in their walk. Then pray for your sisters and brothers that may have hurt your feelings, that God will get bigger in them.

Now this is not to judge anyone that have left the church for reasons above. I have expereinced the same things and more. I mean pain from people in church that made me cry and I wanted to flee. But God never gave me instructions to leave my church home instead he increase my duties to help me manifest the fruits of the spirit  (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance - Galatians 5:22-23) which Jesus instilled in me that day he died on the cross. When it all bowls down to it, it hurts me to see people leave and go from one church to the next because I know that they are not allowing God to teach them some important life lessons. The are running from a great lesson of enduring the pain. They are running from the true relationship with God, that can help them with every encounter they may have at church. So ask yourself right now, what is my reason for going to church and meditate on it.

Praying for you always

Love Freedom