Love Ones Don't Hurt Love Ones

Written by: Freedom for Freedom
May 1, 2014

So lately I have noticed an increase in people saying they have been hurt by people they considered to be love ones.  I understand the pain because I have my own past experience with the very same thing.  Being so angry it brings you tears.  Feeling, how could this person do this to me and I would never act that way.  Then come to the final conclusion, that person couldn’t possible love me, they are not my true friend/family and I am ready to cut them off.  But is this the right conclusion?  Is this the view we should have on relationships being Christians?  I just can’t help but wonder is that the Godly way to handle things.  

When I started reading the bible and studying the life of Jesus.  The scripture that stood out the most is pertaining to the very thing is Matthew 5:43-48, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  

Jesus didn’t cut someone off because they didn’t act like him or hurt him.  He knew Judas plan the whole time but continued to love him and show him truth.  He used life lessons to show people their flaws and maintained love and fellowship with them.  

Jesus made every second not about himself but about the Fathers work.  You want to know the test to see if you are focusing on God or yourself, you being easily offended.  The very person that hurt you may be the one who is hurting and in need.  The offender may be one that is immature and need growth.  They may be the one you need to pray for.  Is it so out of their character to hurt you when they were born human?   You are not going to agree with everybody on everything.  We can't expect people to do what we would do in a situation because each of us are unique and have our own outlook on life.  Please remember none of us are perfect but in this journey of life we should be pursuing to be like Jesus in every way.  I can promise you as you grow spiritually, peace will invade you and you will not be easily offended or hurt by love ones.  You can look at the person that attempt to hurt you and see God working in their lives.  You will be able to move pass the moment and present the love that Jesus showed everyone including you.  

I Can’t Wait To Get Married…..?

I Can’t Wait To Get Married…..This was a statement I would declare to my friends on a daily bases.  How I wanted to have a husband.  I thought marriage would complete me.  I had the list prepared of what he must look like, how he should act, he had to be successful and did I mention love God.  Yes, I had the image of perfection.  Well God shattered my fairytale and called me out on my mess.

As time progressed I started to build a deeper relationship with God.  While doing so God showed me that I didn’t need anything but him to make me whole.  That is when the statement, “I can’t wait to get married”, turned into a question.  I started questioning was I ready to be somebody’s wife.  I started shifting my focus from men to being the woman that would please God rather in a relationship or not. 

A new list was prepared geared towards my character and my flaws.  I made a true vow of celibacy to God (in the past the vow was full of pride and I failed every time).  After making this decision with the right motive in mind God started preparing me for my future; messages on being the woman he wanted me to be.  I had to work on my self-esteem.  Finally I can look in the mirror and say I am beautiful.

My prayers changed from bring me a husband to make me into a great wife if it is his will.  A wife that any man would love to have by their side.  I prayed that people would see God’s character in me.  I want to be use by God.  I want everybody I come in contact with to feel his love.

The time I took out from the dating scene has allowed God to work on me.  I feel I am finally ready to date.  It’s amazing to see God guarding my heart.  For so long I was to blinded with pride.  I kept putting my hands all over it and causing myself pain.  Now that I have bestowed my Trust in him he has stopped the games at the door.  For a while I felt invisible because men weren’t even approaching me.  I now know it was healing process I had to go through.  I’m making sure I am consulting God on every step of this journey.  I am not perfect but striving to hear well done my daughter. 

I am writing this to encourage my sisters and brothers that long for things to complete thing.  The only thing that will make you whole is your relationship with God.  Once you build this relationship your outlook on life will be so different.  You will be content, full of joy and peace no matter what.  Why not surrender your all today.   

TEO 8: Who Is The Impostor?

Have you ever felt some people around you are impostors (one who assumes a false identity).  You feel maybe they are not your true friend.  Family shouldn’t treat you a certain way.  Well instead of looking at others you may need to look in the mirror.  They say birds of a feather flock together.  The closest people to you are a reflection of you. 

So if the people around you aren’t treating you the way you want to be treated you may need to change.  Maybe you are not living on purpose.  Have you settled, not doing your very best?  Are you doing what God created you to do?  It’s time to stop complaining and spend time with God.  Have him direct your path.  He will show you what you need to change about yourself and then you will attract the right people in your life or learn how to deal with the current friend and family with joy and peace.

The Stranger in the Mirror

A Real Testimony

 

I haven’t been able to write in a while.  Not sure if it was writer block or me being afraid to share this.  Well it is time for me to be transparent.  I pray this helps someone. 

I noticed a stranger following me.  Everywhere I went the stranger would be there. Then one day I looked in the mirror and the stranger said I am you.  My mind spoke but my eyes were in disbelief.  What had happen in such a short period of time?  I felt the old me inside but looking at this imposter in my reflection.

I stopped taking pictures.  I hated having to go to events or be seen by people I hadn’t seen in a while.  I would avoid people I knew when I would see them in public.  Shopping for clothes turned into crying in the dressing room and depression.  I have dealt with low self-esteem most of my life due to being thin.  By the age of 31 I had become comfortable in my skin.  I finally loved me. 

Well my low self-esteem started all over again.  I gained 40 pounds in a 3 month period and the other 10 pounds happen due to no exercise.  When I stood up I would swell up in my upper body and face and cause much pain.  Also my heart would race for no reason at all.  These symptoms ended my workout plan.

A friend of mine that is a doctor told me I may have an overactive Adrenaline Gland or Cushing.  The symptoms matched but no test would confirm this diagnosis.  All I knew is I wanted it to go away.  What I learned is it all started from stress.  I was dealing with grief on multiple levels.  I lost love, then my dad, my job, and then my identity. 

During this time I was amazed at people comments.  There were rumors I was pregnant.  One person told me I should eat less.  It’s just amazing what people let come out of their mouth before thinking.  No one ever asked was I ok.  Never thought it could be a deeper issue.  I had doctor basically tell me I was just fat. 

By the grace of God I am finally adjusting to the new me.  I have lost 25 pound without diet or exercise.  I feel God allowed me to experience this to have a better understanding of others.  He wanted me whole and to make sure I loved myself no matter what.  He also was showing me to trust him more and more.  I hope you see God even through the pain and tears.    

So my advice to anyone that may feel like a stranger is invading your life I recommend that you abide in God and you will see the real you.  When you feeling down stop, pray and worship right then and there.  If you are not happy with yourself do something about it.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful every day.  Jesus died for your joy so let it show.

If you need someone to talk to, cry with, or a prayer request contact me.    

TEO 7: Reality Check

     Reflecting on a decision I made a year ago today, I can say I truly learned a lot from this experience.  I didn't consult God on my decision because I assumed he was alright with it since it was birth from a church experience.  In reality, with grief consuming me, longing to fill a void and a deep rooted seed of pride and jealousy blinded me and I let go of God's hand once again.  Now that doesn't mean me relationship with God stopped but some intimacy was lost.
     While on this path I did things different to ensure it's success.  This was what I thought I wanted so how could it fail.  The Holy Spirit start removing the blinders and red flags were seen clearly.  Even some character flaws withing myself slapped me in the face.  The moment I engaged back into that intimate relationship with Abba, he directed me back on his path and quickly closed the door.
     From this experience I gained wisdom.  Me relationship with God grew deeper and I surrendered my all to him, yes even the small things.  I quickly consult him and truly see the important of being interdependent.  From this experience I made a vow to God that was truly from the heart.  My goal in life changed to pleasing him.  I want everyone to see Jesus when you encounter me.  With that being said I would like to apologize to anyone who may have been hurt or affected in a negative way by me not walking in my purpose.  I am thankful for God's grace and mercy.

Freedom

TEO 6: Valentine's Day: Everyday and For All

I started today off with a 5:00 a.m. date with my first love (GOD). While there I realized that I have gotten the meaning of Valentine's Day so wrong before now (Please research Saint Valentine for origin of Valentine's Day and the true meaning). I thought today was to celebrate that romantic love you get from a mate. This day your mate should show you how much they love you, usually with something materialistic. Too many of us put a lot of weight on this day. This day has destroyed relationships because a person didn't receive a gift or the gift they felt they deserved. This day has stolen joy from so many single people. I use to despise this day because it showed how I had lack of love. I was jealous of couples. What this day actually did was reveal flaws rather than love for others. It showed me how selfish I was, my insecurities, unhealthy competition, and my lack of knowledge of love. Oh foolish Freedom, who has bewitched you (thanks Elder Harper and Pastor Kelly for the reminder). I ask you all for my forgiveness.

Valentine's Day is about GIVING LOVE TO ALL. This day is not about you. You should be treating others how you want to be treated without expecting anything in return. Give freely, it's the best gift you can give and receive. Valentine's Day should be every day. Put an effort to love everyone you encounter no matter what. You may ask how to do this. First ask God to reveal his love to you. Second build you relationship with God by giving him your time every day. Third, love yourself and see your value, you can give what you don't have or understand. Once you work on these things it will be easy to love others and it won't take long to happen, just a little effort.

Today is the best Valentine's Day ever and I am saying this as a single woman. My first love gives me unconditional love beyond explanation and filled voids I thought I had. When you are loved like this you want to share it with everyone. So today I want to give you a gift to express my LOVE for you. Listen to every word of this song because it is from my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBiyVJNPAGg

Happy Valentine's Day

Love Freedom

TEO 5: My Apology to Men

As God continues to reveal himself to me, I see my flaws clearer and working to become a better woman for him. He is truly molding me into his image. With each step on this journey, staying focus on God, I recognize what is important in life.

Previously being so self-centered with dealing with men, I never loved them like they deserved. Heck I didn't even love myself. In relationships I would throw in the towel when things didn't go my way; I didn't see myself as a Godly woman and put everything ahead of God. Not knowing my worth allowed me to become a distraction to men and my foolish ways blocked them from seeing God. It permitted me to be blind to things I deserved as well. Instead of being a positive influence and pointing men to God no matter the circumstances, I wanted my needs met and wanted them to fill a void they could never fill. Rather presenting you a woman that is a jewel I gave you a stone that could be played with and throw to the side when you were done. I can honestly say I am grateful that God didn't answer my prayer to get married because it's evident I wasn't ready and I'm sure would've been divorced by now.

So today I want to apologize to you, men. Not only for my actions but on behalf of other women who are blind to their value. I pray that your experience with us wasn't too bad. We are still a work in progress and I ask that you don't give up on us.

Truly thanking God for a reality check. I thank you, men, for the experience because it allowed me to seek God's face and be the woman that is strong enough to stop blaming others for previous pain. I know now I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I ask that you pray for me to continue to grow spiritually and I am praying the same thing for you. Have an awesome and blessed day.

Love & Peace

Crystal Freedom Baskin

8 Steps to a Simple Life with God

Introduction

I made the comment the week, "the closer I get to God I realize how life is so simple." I was shocked at the response of disagreement. This prompt me to pray and discuss with God why this was so. I was also sadden by so many lives are filled with stress when God never intended for us to live this way. I felt compelled to write the journey I took to get to this simple life. Review each step and give it a try for just 30 days and maybe your life will become simple.

1. Develop a relationship with God
   

   When I first got saved I felt there was no major change in my life. After a while I noticed I was missing something major. I heard a lot of people say they had an intimate relationship with God but I didn't know what that meant. I started praying that God would show me what an intimate relationship with him would look like. This was the ultimate goal that I wanted to accomplish. I will never forget being at a women conference at my church and God through the guest speaker answered to my prayers. We were taught us to think of building a relationship with God the same way we would build a relationship with a mate. Create a date night where the focus was on him. Dress up, cook dinner, dance and worship, and share conversation with God. I did just that and the experience was like none other. I made sure all distractions were gone. I grew closer to the God and for the first time in my life felt peace in his presence. Now I can be honest and say I didn't maintain my date nights like I should have and the peace disappeared. Now looking back I realized my focus went away from God and back on me. Where does your focus lie?
   

   
    

2. Study the steps of Jesus from the Garden (Gethsemane) to the Cross to Resurrection
   

   In order to understand God completely you must understand the ultimate sacrifice he made for us. Yes he sacrificed his only begotten son but it is deeper than that. During bible study it took over two years to study Jesus steps from the Garden to Resurrection. To understand that even Jesus came to God and asked him to take the cup away but not his will but God's will showed me just how human Jesus was. Do you know he went through court trials, was totally innocent and was found guilty? You need to understand every detail of the beating he took as you. The pain he endured was so severe that no movie can scratch the surface. Get a clear understanding what the body goes through while being crucified so you can comprehend God's love for you. Realize that Jesus went to hell for us and got up with all power is so important because he left us with the power. I suggest you set up a time for personal bible study on this topic and get to work.
   

   
    

3. God loves you but do you know?
   

   As time progressed I found that I was surrounded by people that had a revelation of God's love. I had heard about this unconditional love but couldn't say I felt it. So I asked God to show me his love. One day while meditating on a beach I opened my heart to God expressing honest feeling and sitting in silence waiting for his to speak. With all I had I focused on him. Suddenly I heard God's voice whisper to me I love you. I wept like no one had ever told me they loved me before. God engulfed my spirit and I felt his love. I knew what unconditional love truly meant and I was floating on top of the world. I left there sharing with everybody about his love. Ask yourself do you know how much God loves you?
   

   
    

4. Pursuit for God's purpose for your life
   

   One day in church my Pastor mentioned that our ultimate goal should be doing God's will. He suggested we ask God what he wants from us rather than always asking for stuff as if God is to serve us or grant wishes. Every day I woke up asking God how I can serve him today. This started the pursuit for God's will for my life. I prayed he would show me how he wanted me to be utilized for his glory. The more intense my search the more my focus was on God. Worry and stress disappeared and the only things that mattered were God. Are you chasing after your own desire or are you chasing after God's will?
   

   
    

5. Renew your mind daily with the word
   

   Read/Listen to the word throughout the day. Bible Gateway is a perfect site to allow you to do this. The more I allow my spirit to absorb the word of God avoiding sin become easy. I am shown the areas that I need to work on and how to improve my life so I am truly a living sacrifice. When was the last time you spent an hour reading/listen to the bible?
   

   
    

6. Trust God 100% in all areas of life
   

   Planning my life was a must for me. Having been independent for so long it was hard to trust God in all areas of my life. For example I thought I was going to leave my job. I was told I was being laid off soon so I put my plan together and started looking for a different position. Every position I applied for was perfect for me. Everything I ever wanted in a job. Went on interviews and every person I met said they loved me. After every interview I felt compel to ask God for his will to be done because he knew what was best for me. One by one the doors to the new jobs closed. So I decided to get rid of my plan and trust God decision. God moved so big that a job was created for me at the very company that was supposed to lay me off doing what I love, writing. Now I trust God with everything I do. I ask him to keep my eyes open and acknowledge his presence no matter where I am or what I am doing. Ask God to show you what area in your life you lack trust in him?
   

   
    

7. Abide in Me
   

   God called me to a liquid fast for 31 days. During this time I asked God to heal me of baggage and reveal flaws I needed to work on. God allowed me to spend all day with my thoughts on him. I truly understood the scripture that state praying without ceasing. I listened to only encouraging music. At 5am every morning I woke up acknowledging him and sat in his presence. I talked to him every chance I got because he was my best friend. I asked him for help with every area of my life. Celibacy became easy because I was doing it with the right intention. I belong to God and everything I have belonged to him. How could I not obey him and revere him. In the midst of us growing a closer relationship I became whole and truly content with life. After my fast was complete I have continued everything above and life is so peaceful. Who are you abiding in?
   

   
    

8. Fall in love with God
   

   All the previous steps have allowed me to come to understand the true meaning of falling in love. I had a distorted view of the definition of love from the world. Now I can say I am in love with Jesus. Not because he provides for me, is patient, kind, surprises me with gifts and love me just as I am but because he loved me first. With this truth I have to give him my best. I want to share his love with others. Paul said he was content in every situation and when you experience a love like this you see nothing else matters. The devil becomes insignificant because you know has your back. You find blessings in trials and tribulations. You start having compassion for others. You see the world as God sees it and you can't help but want to increase his Kingdom. So I ask you are you in love with God?
   

   
    

If you feel life is not simple ask God to show you were you are off track. The 8 steps is the journey I took to get to the point of a simple life with God. Your journey may be different. One thing for sure, when you stay focus on God completely life is truly simple. Give him a try today.

 

TEO 4 - No Power Without God

I repented today.  Jesus died for me but I thought that I can accomplish something without him.  Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t being blatantly disrespectful but had fallen for the plow that my thoughts had power.  I started focusing thoughts on my wants only allowing positive thought in.  There is nothing wrong with this but I eliminated God from this process, telling him I have the power.  I can’t lie to you and say that it didn’t work temporarily but after while my thoughts were sad, full of insecurities and stress.  Then in church my Pastor brought up the topic of thoughts having no power and all power belongs to Jesus.  The crazy thing was I had been looking for evidence that the bible, prior to this, stating the so popular saying, “as a man think so is he”, and found a scripture taken out of content.   My pride convinced me I wasn’t looking hard enough.  This belief I have adopted for years couldn’t be wrong.  Now here I sat my Pastor or should I say God is shattering my belief.   Still I left church rebellious and still thinking this can’t be true.  That following week I prayed for God to increase in my life.  Welling asking God for this comes with a cost.  The price is to die to self and take up your cross.  Well God is killing my flesh in more ways than one.  By Friday he sent two more confirmations that my belief was false.  I stopped right then and repented.  I knew deep inside he had all power but my actions and beliefs were demonstrating something different.  I apologize to all I led astray with this belief.  All power comes from Jesus.  From this day forward I am abiding in him.

John 15:5 (NIV)

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

TEO 3 - Love Can Hurt

Do you believe that if someone truly loves you they wouldn’t hurt you?  They would never hurt you intentionally.  I received a revelation from God that this is not true.  Someone can truly hurt you and love you.  When a person thoughts or attention are not on you it’s easy to become selfish and hurt you.  Think of a person who cheats on their mate.  They may truly love their mate but their attention starts to slip away.  They are focused on something that feeds their desires.  The distraction could be another person, work, partying, or even hobbies.  Due to hurt I know some won’t agree so let use ourselves as an example.  Have you stated that you love God but have been unfaithful to him?  You were going to give him your all but have fallen short?  Does that mean you love God less or is an expression that something else has your attention?  Are you focusing on self?  If this is true for you why can’t it be true for the person who may have hurt you?  We are all human and make mistakes.  Forgive, let go of the baggage and move forward on your journey.  This is to remind you to love like God.  Keep your eyes on the prize, God, and he will show true love and how to love others.